Pride-in-Between's Blog

It was a beautiful Monday afternoon. The sun was bright and not a cloud in the sky. I decided to stroll in the park taking nice deep, clean, relaxing breaths. I was loving life. I had to go to the restroom. To my horror, I saw my ex (Alex) coming out of the bathroom. My sunshine care-free Monday turned into a dark Halloween nightmare! We have all experienced a toxic relationship. Alex was mine. He is known as my Dating Anti-Christ. Don't get me wrong. Alex wasn't such a terrible person: We were just terrible together. It was an emotionally abusive relationship. We were both to blame. But that was over five years ago and I'm an adult. I can handle it. So I decided to do the grown up thing: I quickly turned to the opposite direction, grabbed my cell, pretended to talk on the phone and walk away. There's no shame in my game! I thought I was in the clear when I heard: "DJ, DJ!" I could feel the life drain out of me. I started to drool. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, I swallowed my tongue and my skin melted off my bones. So there I stood, a drooling skeleton, screaming at the top of my lungs: "JESUS!! HELP ME HELP ME THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!" That's what I was thinking. "Hi, how are you?" I replied. We talked for about 8 hours and 37 minutes. Ok, it was more like 90 seconds but it felt like 40 days and 40 nights. Did I mention I was wearing a tank top and shorts? Alex gave me that brief head to toe lust look. I almost threw up. "It was great to see you, gotta go, bye-bye", I said as I crawled away. I immediately called my best friend Tina for debriefing. There was definitely a sour apple martini in my future. I know what you're thinking: Why all the drama? You have to understand. I haven't seen him in years. This was such a turbulent relationship. I was completely unprepared and totally sober. However, I must find the meaning in everything no matter how horrifying it may be. Running into Alex reminded me of how far I have come. I wouldn't recognize the person I was when I was with him. And that's a good thing! So, if you ever encounter your Dating Anti-Christ, take a deep breath. Find your inner light and run like hell to the nearest alcoholic beverage!