Pride-in-Between's Blog

      Facebook is a portal to the seventh layer of hell! I was checking my yahoo mail and received a Facebook friend request from my ex!!! I had an epileptic seizure, swallowing my tongue, throwing up in my mouth all while pissing my pants. "Jesus!" I shouted. Let's shift it back. My ex (Tim) and I dated for 3 years. We lived together. It was a huge deal. Well, it fell apart and I moved out, the end. That was over a year ago. I don't do friends with the ex. Tim is completely the opposite. He has persistently tried to stay in contact with me to force some kind of friendship. I basically said "no" several times and now I get this horrifying Facebook friendship request! I'm officially inventing a new term: I just got "Facebooked"!

Facebooked (v): A mental and emotional assault via facebook

    Drama aside, I couldn't help but wonder. Why do we gays try so desperately to be friends with our ex-lovers? Why do we put that kind of unnecessary pressure on each other? Is it because we can't get married and on some level we believe our relationships aren't as valid as our heterosexual counterparts? So let's be friends. NOOOO! I doubt if Brad Heterosexual is going to invite his ex-girlfriend over for dinner with his wife. Or that Nancy Breeder will explain to her husband that she's going to the movies with her ex-boyfriend. "We're just friends now". I don't think so. !

    So why do we do it? My friends say it takes a level of maturity. I disagree. It's a matter of preference. I prefer not to be friends with my ex. Others say that "it's sad that you can't at least be friends with Tim". It's not sad. It's normal! My parents are divorced and have 3 children together and they are not friends! I have Tim in my heart and mind and that's all I want. That's all I can handle. Besides, how can you possibly move on to the "next" when you're holding on to the "ex"? Gay relationships have enough challenges without throwing the "ex" in the mix.

    I will spend the next couple of days carefully composing my response to Tim and ultimately declining his friendship request, thanks to the Hell-Mouth, I mean Facebook :)