Aika_san21's Blog

Oh ma gawd.... I'm so tired. I got up at 10a this morn (I know this may not be early to some peeps but it kinda is to me) I got ready in 30min and then spent the next 30 getting gas, food and picking up my friend Alu87_da (shes on glee, check her out). I drove up to Jacksonville today. Now you may not know where Jackcsonville is, but put it this way: I live in Lakeland, and Jacksonville is a 4hr drive by interstate one way. So very far, but not so far as say Miami (around 7hrs). I drove up to see a doc I got while I went to school in the area, I see her every 3wks or so in the summer because of the long fucking drive...

So I drove up, spent an hour with my doc, then approx an hour with my friend shillin then we drove an hour south to St. Augustine to walk about and be touresty. We got dinner at a nice restraunt and then headed back out of town about 7p. I got home at around 10p. Then Alu87 and I wanted to watch Xena, so we did and now I'm here, exsausted, typing.... I'm going to bed...

Aika

Okay, first I did get a haircut FINALLY!!! I finally finished the process I started 3 weeks ago and cleaned up my hair and now its 'NATURALLY' short and boyish. I should have some new pics up soon, but the new hair is so similar to my Main pic I don't think I'll change it... besides, I like that pic... X3

In other news, I was supposed to go with my friend up to Jacksonville today to go see my doctor, but I had a 'mini breakdown' and my mom and I had at it about how my identity effects her life. She swears up and down that it doesn't matter, that as long as I'm happy shes happy, and I want to believe her, but I just cant believe it, being as we just returned from a trip to her family and I felt absolutly suffocated by the need to keep 'me' under wraps. She says that so doesn't care if her subs don't like me, and they'll learn to live with it, but the fact still stands, that I cannot be myself, I cannot be honest about myself to my mothers family until my grandfather is dead, and thats a heavy weight to live with. I also don't honestly believe she'd stick up for my in standard conversation, like woth her co-workers. I mean, I don't feel the need to shout from the rooftops that I'm gay, and tell every person I know and meet that I like girls, but I defend gay peoples and myself when confronted by prejudice. And I honestly dont think she would do that for me. I think shed rather lower her head and pretend it never happened, rather than expose herself.

Whatever...

Aika

Oh, and Yay to first blog!! ^_^