MelissaFromTwist's Blog

Who are the Jonas Brothers??? Why on earth do we have mirrors? I mean, just when you feel good about yourself, reality sets in - in the form of a reflection. We all relish those moments. Ya make it up the stairs without passing out... the produce guy actually does a double-take as you waltz past the bananas for a graceful entrance into the citrus section... or those jeans that used to cut off the circulation to your brain now aren't quite as tight, and you actually get in the car without getting light-headed. OK, maybe a few things are not exactly where they used to be, and perhaps where there was nothing there is now something. But doesn't beauty come from the inside out? Tell that to my cousin, Jamie. There is quite a bit of an age difference between us. And thanks to her loose tongue, Stephen Tyler, and the latest college trends, I realize that no matter how good I think I look there is no getting away from Father Time. To read more go to: http://blog.melissatimes.com/2009/11/02/guest-blogger--holly-firfer.aspx

My first Halloween costume of 2009 has been revealed! Kim Zolciak from "Real Housewives of Atlanta!" Go to http://tinyurl.com/yzwhh3w to see all the details!

Women, you are nasty in the bathroom. I have been in several public bathrooms recently where I have sat down to pee, only to realize that you had already peed on the seat before me. Sliding on the wet toilet ring, feeling your DNA absorb in my skin, is not the way I should have to spend my stall time. And this spillage is likely from women who, in their own lives, are constantly telling their men and children to clean up after themselves. I know we struggle at work to get certain employees to clean up their own coffee mugs in the sink, and the cute little signs that say "Your Maid Doesn't Work Here" were designed by a woman. So why do these same women, frustrated at the fact they are not appreciated by the people they clean up after, end up giving me the golden shower indirectly because they can't straddle successfully? What effort would it take to grab some toilet paper and wipe the seat down when you're done? If you are grossed out by your own pee think about how I feel! To read the rest go to: http://blog.melissatimes.com/2009/10/20/women-you-are-nasty-in-the-bathroom.aspx

General Motors has announced the beginning of the end for Saturn, since an apparent attempt by Penske Automotive Group to buy the brand fell through. "This is very disappointing news and comes after months of hard work by hundreds of dedicated employees and Saturn retailers who tried to make the new Saturn a reality," the US automaker said. I am disappointed as well, since I house a Saturn in my garage. I have made attempts in the past few years to drive responsible cars, and the Saturn Vue was my first hybrid. I also endorse Jim Ellis Audi of Atlanta and support their efforts on clean diesel, so I've talked about both cars on air. My Mom, Millie Pete, has driven nothing but Saturns since their inception in the early '90s since their plant was down the street in Spring Hill, Tennessee. I will admit, however, my first impression of Saturn was not a great one. The families of the GM workers from Ohio and Michigan that were transferred to my hometown of Columbia, Tennessee were the "Yankees" that pitted themselves against the "Rednecks." The main issue - corporal punishment in our schools. To read the rest go to: http://blog.melissatimes.com/2009/09/30/first-pluto-now-saturn.aspx

I realize my crutches are a great tool to judge people. I've been on crutches for a couple weeks with a fractured ankle and that's been enough time to get an instant read on your personality. If you don't help me I think less of you for it. Take, for instance, our lobby here at Q100. Since my fracture took place in my right foot I cannot drive, and sit in our main lobby after the Bert Show to wait for Katie Jo's generous ride. Friday, Bert walked with me to the lobby on his way out and apparently excited a fan by his sudden presence out of the elevators. This fan, dressed in a professional suit, rushed unprofessionally in front of me to shake Bert's hand and tell him about the time they met. He about knocked me down in the process. Dude, Bert doesn't remember you and I think you are a jerk. Read the rest at: http://blog.melissatimes.com/2009/09/28/judging-you-through-the-lens-of-my-crutches.aspx

No, I have not given birth or experienced a great deal of weight loss. My stretch marks came in the early 80's during a very painful growth spurt. And this week's anniversary of the first Lunar Landing reminded me of it. My love of all things space began at a young age, and my first dream career was to be an astronaut. But my fear of flying would have hindered that a bit, so I'm glad I eventually began imitating Nashville radio dj's on my brother's tape player. However, I decorated my room with images of the total solar eclipse of 1981 with an idea that those walls doubled as NASA Control. Or maybe it was more like the command module of an Apollo rocket, since when I lay down on my single bed I could simply turn my head to see the dramatic newspaper clippings. That's about the time the aching of my legs kept me up at night in tears, and to see those images - of the moon slowly moving in phases between the Earth and sun - helped focus my mind on something other than being elongated in torture like my Stretch Armstrong. Read the rest at www.melissatimes.com!