ActorRod's Blog

Every so often, I get asked, "Why are you attracted to black men? Why the fetish with dreads, braids or flat-ironed hair?" Well, I've given it some thought and have a few ideas on the subject and thought I would post them here for the world to see.

My parents were somewhat racist. Not card carrying KKK but they did have some strong opinions. I don't think I ever understood their sentiments, but I did hear them every so often. I did not socialize with any blacks and I wasn't in a mixed school until junior high school. Even then, I didn't see what all the fuss was. Even later in life, my one good black friend told me that whenever he called my at my folks, he pretended to be one of my white friends.

I made it all the way through college without sex of either variety. Why? Probably because I thought one needed to be married. I had some women for a few years and, again, wondered what the big deal was. Oh, I did discover masturbation at an early age, and one of my male friends fondled me on a sleepover once in 8th grade. I asked what he was doing and he asked if there was anything wrong with what he was doing. I said I didn't know. We continued like that for a few years, sometimes getting oral but never to orgasm. I didn't know you could do that. Anyway, back to after college and my sex life. I started wondering about sex with men and finally tried it in 1980. For the next 3 years, everytime I would go out looking for a male partner, I would only see white men at the clubs. I joined the Navy in 1984 and thought I'd have to macho myself up. First time my ship was in it's home port, Norfolk, VA, I went to a gay club and saw about 20 guys off my ship. I also saw quite a few black men in this club. I heard myself say, "I wonder what a black man is like?" The next instant, the black guy in front of me turned around and asked if I wanted to dance. Well, I thought I had spoken out loud and it kind of freaked me out. We danced and talked and I went back to his place and we had sex. So, he was a civilian and I was in the Navy. I didn't want to fool around with anybody in the Navy, felt my private life was nobody's business and had no bearing on how I do my job. We saw each other a few more times before I started moving some of my clothes in with him. So, my first real relationship happened to be with my first black man! When we broke up after about 2 years, I hung out with the friends I made through him, who were black. Other black men came on to me and it became a preference. Also, since I don't care for the high energy dance music, I gravitate more to the r & b, jazz music, those clubs have more ethnic variety.

As to the fascination with longer hair on my black men... Lamonte (my first) had thinning, long curly hair. My best friend here in LA, Ronn, had flat ironed long hair (I also thought I wanted him for a long time, he wanted somebody else so we stay friends). But I blame Essence magazine for their cover in Jan 1998 (that cover is in my photos)! I saw that cover in the grocery store and my jaw dropped. If my tongue could have reached, I'm sure it would have hit the floor. I found out the guy in the center is Ryan Gentles. He's now been in a couple of Tyler Perry movies and productions. He's Jamaican born. The look is just too hot! But it's limiting so I try hard not to focus on that.

I've had one encounter with a man with dreads but he did not want to develop a relationship. I was also with a guy with braids for 1 year, but his alcoholic behaviors was the death of that relationship.

Most of the guys here if they aren't taken, are just a bit too thuggish for me. That look can be cute, but I would rather like to hold a decent conversation with a man of quality and intelligence!

I suppose the interest is also a vicarious way of enjoying dark skin and long hair...two things I don't seem to be able to add to my physical appearance. I've always wanted a deep, dark tan and long hair. My hair is too thin and thinning with typical male pattern baldness. And I burn more than tan and never seem to stay dark. It also might be the little rebellious part in me wanting to break away from what my parents expected of me. Who knows? I'm sure there are many other factors in my preference. But there you have it.

Zap2it.com
NBC executive Ben Silverman announced Monday at the Television Critics Association press tour that former "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington, who was famously let go from that series, will have a recurring part on "Bionic Woman" in the fall. He'll appear in five of the show's first six episodes, and has also signed a development deal for an action series project with Universal Media Studios.
"He's a wonderful actor ... and he became available," Silverman said, drawing laughter from the assembled reporters. "I started talking to him before he was available. ... I didn't have any idea -- when he told me he was available, I was like, 'What? I don't understand. You're a star on a huge TV show.' I didn't quite understand what was going on there."
What was going on was that Washington was let go from "Grey's Anatomy" in June, following several months of controversy of his alleged use of a homophobic slur toward cast member T.R. Knight. The initial incident, which involved an on-set argument with co-star Patrick Dempsey, passed without much incident, but Washington attracted a media firestorm when he repeated the word at the Golden Globes.
That led to protests both from within the show and without, with several gay and lesbian groups demanding he apologize. He did that, and also sought counseling and taped a PSA about the power words can have.
Following a finale in which his character, Dr. Preston Burke, left his fiancee (Sandra Oh) at the altar, his contract wasn't picked up. Washington has given numerous interviews since then defending himself, saying in part Dempsey's lateness to the set provoked him.
Silverman believes that once they see Washington on "Bionic Woman," viewers will be able to put the controversy behind them and just enjoy his character, who's involved with the organization that gives Jaime Sommers (Michelle Ryan) her bionic parts and may have a plan of his own for her.
"The bottom line is he's a wonderful actor, and we think inside "Bionic Woman," the character they've created for him is really strong and one he'll do a great job with," Silverman says. "That's what I think people will respond to, and we're excited to see it come to fruition."


My reaction;

Is this guy on drugs? How is it an entertainment mogul like Silverman NOT BE AWARE of this controversal situation! What is his problem?

More impotant, how can you remake "Bionic Woman" without her ex-boyfriend "The Six Million Dollar Man"? She was a spinoff from his show, after all.

Are there no more original ideas in Hollywood or is it all about money now?

From the Associated Press, Jun 28, 10:01 PM EST

"Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington said racism was a factor in his firing from the hit ABC series after he twice used an anti-gay slur.

Washington, who initially used the epithet during an onset clash with a co-star, told Newsweek magazine that "someone heard the booming voice of a black man and got really scared and that was the beginning of the end for me."

He tried to make amends by expressing remorse and volunteering to enter a counseling program to understand how the confrontation got out of hand, he told Newsweek.

"My mistake was believing that I would get the support from my network and all of my cast mates across the board. My mistake was believing I could correct a wrong with honesty and sincerity," he said in the interview posted online Thursday.

"My mistake was thinking black people get second chances. I was wrong on all fronts," he said.

His unwillingness to act like a submissive black at work was part of the problem, Washington said.

"Well, it didn't help me on the set that I was a black man who wasn't a mush-mouth Negro walking around with his head in his hands all the time. I didn't speak like I'd just left the plantation and that can be a problem for people sometime," he said.

"I had a person in human resources tell me after this thing played out that `some people' were afraid of me around the studio. I asked her why, because I'm a 6-foot-1, black man with dark skin and who doesn't go around saying `Yessah, massa sir' and `No sir, massa' to everyone?

"It's nuts when your presence alone can just scare people, and that made me a prime candidate to take the heat in a dysfunctional family," he said.

ABC declined comment Thursday. In its one public statement regarding Washington, issued in January, the network said his actions were "unacceptable."

Washington, who used the slur against co-star T.R. Knight during a confrontation with Patrick Dempsey, repeated the word backstage at the Golden Globes in January in denying the first incident. A public apology to Knight and others followed.

###

Now for MY thoughts;

NOTE: I must apologize for using any racial slurs and derogatory comments in the following essay. I do NOT normally use them and consider them inappropriate. However, please understand that I wish to make a point here.

One has to wonder then, why hasn't actor Dennis Haysbert run into the same problems. He is a rather big, tall and imposing African American actor. How is it then that Mr. Haysbert of "24" and "The Unit" fame on two networks has not run into the same problems that Mr. Washington has on only one network. Or James Earl Jones, who has been working in Hollywood since the '50's! He was the voice of Darth Vader. Now if THAT isn't a booming voice, I don't know what is!

On the other hand, suppose Mr. Washington overheard somebody refer to him as a "%#&@$!" or "coon" or "tar-baby," Maybe even "jigaboo." And let's say that that person then apologized to Mr. Washington and made a public apology for having used such derogatory racial slurs. Would Mr. Washington have been so quick to offer a "second chance" to this hypothetical person?

Please, Mr, Washington. Get a grip!!! Take responsibility for your actions for a change. You opened your mouth first! You put the words out there! Mr. Haysbert and the other black actors must have the good, common sense to not open themselves to public ridicule and embarrassment by saying anything like you did, especially about a fellow actor!

NOTE: Again, I must apologize for having used the above racial slurs. I wish it known that I was only trying to make a point. I do NOT normally use those words, nor do I approve of their usage. I hope that you all will forgive me for my having used them, and understand the point that I am trying to make here. Thank you.